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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 5:56 pm
by Aleister
I am 90% sure it will..
Will have to check
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 1:38 pm
by JJ Burke
hey yog, sorry i replied to the thread without even going over your story. you said you decided do discontinue it.. is that true? i have a couple of observations if the project hasn't been scrapped already.
Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 9:56 pm
by Yog-Sothoth
well, no project is ever scrapped, so give some observations
Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:04 am
by JJ Burke
ok, i'll just put in my 2ยข on the dialogue issue: a lot of it is unnecessary, and some is plain corny.. the characters function like tour guides for the reader, only there to explain the circumstances until something happens.
like, it's not realistic to say, 'look behind you - that heavy stone pillar we saw earlier is now tipping in your direction, threatening serious injury or death!' it's informative but not expressive, and could have been covered with narration.
i just think more of the story's information should be coming from you, in the form of descriptive prose.
i also value people's observations of my work.. i'm investigating the public archive option for sharing the progress on my current story.