story scraps

[JJ Burke]

many of us probably have little scenes like this written down that probably will never be used for anything.. but i thought a sort of dumping ground for story fragments would be interesting to look through while we're really supposed to be working on bigger projects (i swear my story will be done this year).

without further ado, here's one to get the ball rolling:

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Through fully dilated pupils, the meager light from the stars was just enough to observe the thing's presence, if not its shape. It squatted or hunched, if such terms can apply - its physiology was indefinite at best, obscured not only by the moonless night, but a constant writhing that occupied the entirety of its dark-shrouded bulk. Its faintly glistening surface was variably sagged, stretched, blistered and bunched; adorned with irregular bladders, swollen with ambiguous viscera; here and there passed a hint of flexing tendon or articulating joint, but nothing to indicate a muscular or skeletal structure within. It would have been hard to imagine that whatever it was could move as fast it did. It never occurred to old Chuck Ketchup, whose high-pitched, interrupted shriek wasn’t human enough to capture the neighbors' interest.

[Jesus Prime]

This is more of a synopsis that I doubt I'll ever run with, though I see it being written as an exchange of letters between two people.

‘The Horror in Shallow Water’ or ‘Coils of the Midgard Serpent’
Insane asylum/sanatorium. Once-lucid patients are now each night screaming in archaic Scandinavian and writing on walls in Nordic runes. Fear of larger bodies of water. Will not eat fish. Begin dying one by one. Drowned, in own cells - no water. Not even in lungs. Arkford professor notified and translates some of the scrawls. Mention of ‘Midgard serpent’ and ‘deep ones’. Last survivor - Norwegian man. Monitored closely. One night, guard walk past when screaming is in full swing. Sees the room mysteriously fill with water, up to half way. Not leaking. Man is fighting some unseen marine assailant. Screams of ‘Iormangand’ or ‘Jormungandr’. Horrible gurgling croaking noise. Guard transfixed. Opens door eventually, water is not there. No sign of anything but man, dead. Drowned. Ophidian teeth marks in leg, wounds filled with highly caustic poison. Doctor eventually finds connection. All afflicted were descended from line in Norse times supposed to be mortal sons of Thor.

I also really want to use the title "Last Vestiges of a Dream". I was thinking just a poem, a short one like "Sirius" (from my featured section). Might try it later.

[nortonew]

I have a couple little things that I wrote that I meant to use in larger works and never have. Here is one of them...

Have you ever been afflicted by a crushing feeling that the entire universe is against you, the situation is hopeless, and you are doomed to die? When you are beset by these types of thoughts, what you are actually experiencing is, in reality, simply a brief flash of sanity. For, the fact of the matter is that, you are most certainly eventually going to perish and the vast majority of the cosmos is either indifferent to your fate or more than willing to hasten your doom. In fact, if, at any given time, something is not actively trying to destroy you, it is almost certainly due to the fact that the largest part of the universe simply has not noticed your existence.

The brief moments of true sanity which humans occasionally experience are, obviously, fairly unpleasant. People, almost invariably, do not want to recognize just how terribly unfriendly or inhospitable the vast majority of reality tends to be towards them. Thus, humans generally surround themselves with the tiny fragment of the world which is, most of the time, not completely inimicable to them. Once they have wrapped themselves in this illusory shell of safety and stability, they then, typically, set about busying their minds with an assortment of diversions which will distract their attention from their true predicament.

In fact, this behavior is so common that it almost appears to be instinctive in nature. The commonality of this manner of existence causes humans to think of anyone who sees beyond the thin veil of comfort as insane, or at least deviant. It is extremely ironic that the vast majority of the human population lives in such an extreme state of denial and self-delusion and then attacks any members of their species who allow themselves to see all of existence as it truly is, calling them delusional and paranoid.

The true tragedy of this delusional state in the human consciousness is that there are many humans who have so inbred a feeling of security that they actually attempt to undertake actions meant to purposely attract the attention of the denizens of nature who dwell outside the humans' shell of stability and coziness. These humans are so isolated from the concept of danger that they boldly seek to randomly signal any and all of the creatures of unknown character that may exist in the recesses of the dark regions beyond the comforting realms of the known. It's similar to a rabbit which has so long hidden safely from all of the surrounding foxes that it forgets what is outside of its hiding spot and begins to make noises trying to attract the attention of its unknown neighbors in the hope that they will stop by for a friendly visit.

These adventurous humans who delve into the unknown have, in the past, often escaped the likely outcome of their enterprises solely due to the fact that their attempts to attract the attention of the rest of the universe have been quite feeble and have gone almost entirely unnoticed. The unfortunate few who are skillful enough to devise truly effective means for attracting attention tend to meet a nasty end. Unfortunately, it is also possible that these individuals could be so successful in their endeavours that a large segment of the surrounding intelligences may suddenly focus their various alien awarenesses on our little sanctuary. These enigmatic and tenebrous beings, when cognizant of the existence of this little pocket of easily attainable and poorly protected morsels may, very likely, decide to visit mankind in the same manner that a nearby fox may decide to visit the unwary rabbit.

The uncontrolled and ignorant actions of the intrepid may bring about the shattering of the thin veneer of calm and confidence in which the populace dwells. Thus, exposing one and all to the stark truth and forcing a measure of sanity which few can endure.

[nortonew]

Here is the other one...

The men of my family are rather infamous for being the sufferers of an ancient curse, or rather, two ancient curses. The first curse is a seemingly inescapable disharmony that invariably erupts between every married man in my family and his wife. No matter what the temperament of the spouses, it is inevitable that the household will eventually experience nearly constant bickering and strife. For the menfolk of my brood, matrimony will unfailingly lead to acrimony.

With this type of malediction hanging over the family, and with it being rather widely known, one would think that finding a bride would be nearly impossible for my kin. On the contrary, none of the men of my family have ever found themselves wanting for perspective mates. This phenomenon is largely due to the second curse with which we are afflicted.

The second curse is that the men of our family die young. We drop dead at a young age for no apparent reason whatsoever. Thus, enterprising young women simply need to marry into our family, invest in large insurance policies, and wait a few years for their fortunes to be made.

This odd state of affairs has engendered a rather odd custom amongst my relatives. I'm sure you are familiar with the widely practiced custom of a bride tossing her bouquet in order to determine who the next lucky bride will be. Well, in my family, the custom exists of the widow at a funeral tossing the funeral wreath to see who the next lucky widow will be.

[JJ Burke]

Opens door eventually, water is not there. No sign of anything but man, dead. Drowned.

whoa, that disappearing-water phenomenon is something that occurs in my story too. did you make it up, or are we getting the idea from somewhere else?

It is extremely ironic that the vast majority of the human population lives in such an extreme state of denial and self-delusion and then attacks any members of their species who allow themselves to see all of existence as it truly is, calling them delusional and paranoid.

i think this could be made into a stand-alone essay, if you're not going to fit it into some kind of big epic story. when's the next norton tale busting out?

[Jesus Prime]

Opens door eventually, water is not there. No sign of anything but man, dead. Drowned.

whoa, that disappearing-water phenomenon is something that occurs in my story too. did you make it up, or are we getting the idea from somewhere else?

I thought I'd made it up. I want it to seem like Jormungandr, one of the children of Loki in Norse mythology and a huge influence on my take on the Mythos, is using some crazy powers to superimpose the ocean into the asylum, killing off the descendants of Thor's consorts, and returning the plane to balance when he's done. So not really 'disappearing water' per se, so I guess my take idea on the idea comes from the Planeshift novel written for the card game Magic: The Gathering.

[nortonew]

i think this could be made into a stand-alone essay, if you're not going to fit it into some kind of big epic story. when's the next norton tale busting out?

Actually, I've been trying to avoid posting more stories. I'm hoping to build up enough of a collection of new stories to make a book of short stories. I doubt anyone would publish stories that are posted on the web. Anyhow I think the twenty I have posted already are a pretty good collection for my page for now.

[JJ Burke]

i have wondered about that.. whether having your material online makes it more or less likely to be picked up by a publisher. have you been told by someone in the business?

anyway you're right, you have already offered a lot of stuff. maybe i'm just trying to divert attention from my own unfinished work..

keep them scraps coming, folks

[Jesus Prime]

It stopped a few publishers from picking up "Thorn Within" for a while, so I recommend against it if you want published.

[Dario]

Almost all US publishers (except for reprint anthos) want FNASR (First North American Serial Rights); a story published in print OR on the web is considered as having been previously published, and will only sell as a reprint after that.

[JJ Burke]

a-ha, good to know. how about if it's not really a publication per se, but a forum environment like this, being used as a sort of writing workshop?

as more and more work goes into this story i'm doing, i feel more like trying to push the finished product as far as it can go. i've never tried to get any writing published before, and i don't care about getting paid. i hope you guys are willing to help me improve it (when i finish the first draft) and maybe get it considered for an anthology or something.

[Jesus Prime]

Try sending it to several places, at the worst, they'll say no. At best, you can choose which publication of those that like it that you want it to appear in.

[Dario]

JJ,


An excellent market database run by a good friend of mine can be found
here (click on the 'writer's markets' link at top left).

Note the drop-down menus on the database which allow you to filter by wordcount, genre, etc.

As far as something 'published' for critique purposes on a forum such as this, most editors IMO are likely to be forgiving, but there are no guarantees that it won't be considered as 'previously published'.

[JJ Burke]

Try sending it to several places, at the worst, they'll say no. At best, you can choose which publication of those that like it that you want it to appear in.

i'm pretty ignorant of the various publications that are out there. do you have any favorites i could check out?

An excellent market database run by a good friend of mine...

that looks very useful, thanks. i really have to make some progress on my story

[Jesus Prime]

Atlantean Publishing have taken up my story "Thorn Within" (if you're into serial killers, read it) for a "King In Yellow" inspired anthology, maybe you should try them - there's a link to their site somewhere in the Writer's board, in a thread about getting published.
Also, I have a few sites in my favourites, none of them have taken me up as of yet, but I'd say you should try them.

http://www.abyssandapex.com
http://www.analogsf.com
http://www.fictionfactor.com
http://www.darkwisdom.com
http://www.strangehorizons.com